Sunday, February 24, 2008

Spoiler: No Country wins

Lead Actor. Man, Helen Mirren's gorgeous. I just wonder what would happen if Day-Lewis lost. Riots in the streets, I'd guess.
Depp's clip is great but it sure does stand out from the rest.
Tommy Lee Jones sure is showing his age. Maybe it's just cause I'll always remember him circa The Fugitive / Men in Black.
Mirren barely had to open the envelope before she said Daniel Day-Lewis. Hells yeah.

Commercial break. Let's see how I'm doing. I'm 5 for 10.

Right: Actor, Original Screenplay, Adapted Screenplay, Supporting Actor
Wrong: Supporting Actress, Actress, Costume Design, Song, Foreign Film

They're going through the Best Director montage. I think I've written more here tonight than I did in the last year.

Best Director!!! Ooh, I love that this can still give me butterflies.
The Coens won! Finally, some love for the men who created the Dude.

Best Picture: No Country. I guess I should probably see it now, eh?


Don't trust Workopolis, it killed Tom Baker

Do any other Whovians think of Logopolis when they see ads for Workopolis?

Cameron Diaz presents Cinematography, and can barely pronounce it. I can hear the facepalms of cinematographers 'round the world. There Will Be Blood for the mothaluvin' win!!! It sure as hell deserves it.

Hilary Swank introduces the In Memoriam reel.

Bud Ekins died? He was Steve McQueen's famous stuntman - he did the jump in The Great Escape.
Seeing Heath Ledger hit me again. I didn't even know him, why do I get so worked up?

Straight to commercial, because who could tell jokes after that? I'm typing this on my laptop and I feel like I'm getting a fever, the heat this thing is generating on my legs over a few hours. And I'm getting a mad headache from watching both my TV and my computer screen. Whine whine moan moan.

Amy Adams presents Score. Atonement wins.

The Pajiba consensus seems to be that Carell did indeed say "shit."

A bunch of soldiers from Iraq present the Documentary Short Subject. Thats a really lovely idea, totally non-partisan from my POV. Smart move.

Documentary Feature. I have no idea what's going on, I'm reading the comments at Pajiba still.

Harrison Ford: "Movies are made of ideas. And pictures. And words." He's presenting an award to writers and this was the best they could come up with? Best Original Screenplay, btw.
Diablo Cody wins! She deserves it completely. I really don't understand the vehemence of the backlash against Juno. You don't like it, fine, but to hate it so and to smear everyone who does like it?

The Pajibans point out that Brad Renfro was left out of the In Memoriam montage. Huh.

There aren't many, or any, words that rhyme with Oscar

Renee Zellweger, presenting Editing, says that some of the most important parts of your life have won Oscars. Okay. Hokey, but okay. But then the examples are the car chase in Bullitt, the fights in Rocky . . . I have an unhealthy love for Bullitt, but watching it was not the most important part of my life. It wouldn't crack the top 100.
Oh yeah, Bourne wins again. Roderick Jaynes, nominated for No Country? Yeah, that's Joel & Ethan Coen. I wonder whose picture that was that they showed for his nomination. Man, do they do everything? "Cathering by Joel & Ethan Coen." "Transportation by Joel & Ethan Coen." "Assistant to the Directors: Joel & Ethan Coen."

The honorary Oscar recipient has had an amazing career. Robert F. Boyle. He designed productions, or is it production-designed, for Hitchcock, yo! That's cred. I hope I look so good at 98.

Please, please, please let Wanted be good.

Macbeth can't get you through everything, my good lad.

Penelope Cruz's dress is great, except for the beaded apron/shawl thing around her waist. Know when to say when. She's presenting Best Foreign Feature. The Counterfeiter wins. I'd said 12. I'm 3 for 7, dammit!

Patrick Dempsey is nominated as "talented and handsome." A, we know. B, it's a little reducing, especially when he's introducing his own film. I think that isn't Amy Adams dancing, but they aren't cutting close enough to tell.
Now that I've seen all the songs, the one from Once is undoubtedly the best, but "That's How You Know" works so well in its own context.
Nope, not Amy Adams. That's kinda disappointing.

John Travolta dances on as the dancers leave the stage. I might like that better if I liked him better. He's presenting Best Song. Menken's gotta win, come on! Nope, Once wins. It is a great song. Wow, they weren't kidding when they said their relationship borders on the criminal. She didn't look as young as she does here in the trailers.
Aww, the poor girl didn't get to say her speech. They started playing, she stopped talking, they stopped playing but she was already walking away.

They're keeping the ad breaks relatively short, but frequent. I still don't think they'll finish at 11:30 as the guide on my TV says. It's 10:54 and they've 8 more awards to give out.

Oh my, they've brought Marketa Irglova out to let her say her thanks. Awwwwww.

One and a half hours in

Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill just riffing as they present Best Sound Editing. TWBB better win a Sound if they can't win Score (because not all the score was written for the film expressly). Nope, Bourne Ultimatum wins.

You know, you could probably save a good 5 minutes if you took all the big names out of the front row - I'm looking at you, Nicholson - and moved everyone up a row so the technical winners wouldn't have to bring a sherpa on their way to the podium.

Rogen and Hill present sound mixing. They're being very funny but I'm just trying to keep up here. Who knew Transformers was nominated for so many Oscars? Bourne wins again. Hey, why didn't Paddy Considine get nominated for Best Supporting? Paddy Considine rules!

I just went to IMDB to find Considine's name and DAMN they are updating that one fast.

Wow, Lead Actress! They're getting to that one soon. Wow! Marion Cotillard wins. I like it when they show all five nominees at once. Cate Blanchett let out a sort of big gasp, sort of happy, and then started clapping. Wow, that was moving watching her speech.

I totally forgot my guesses. Let's see, I'm now 3 for 6. I got Best Supporting Actor, Adapted Screenplay and Animated Feature. I missed Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress and Costume Design.

Colin Farrell presents "Falling Slowly" from Once. Why have I not seen this movie yet?!?!? The guy looks a lot like Damian Lewis (except, not in the picture in his profile. Clean-shaven).

I noticed when they had the clips for Best Actress that they aren't showing the clips in wide-screen; Alison Janney was just this disembodied nose in Juno. But now they've got a Best Picture montage and the sides of that are getting cut off as well. Are they presenting the whole show in widescreen and anyone who's not got a widescreen TV is just screwed?
I like that they aren't giving into the impulse to include famous lines in the clips, it's just silent save for the orchestra. Refreshing.

Oscar, oscar, oscar

"Peter and the Wolf" wins best animated short. It's got to be something to beat the Disney version.

Alan Arkin presenting Best Supporting Actress. He says the Golden Age of Hollywood is still around. There's hyperbole and then there's no fooling anyone. Tilda Swinton wins! I'm surprised. She says she's giving her Oscar to her agent. Um, wow? If I won an Oscar sure, I'd dedicate it, but give it away? Oh my god, she says Clooney wears the Batsuit under his clothes and hangs upside down. There is apparently no one on earth who dislikes that man.
I wish I had more to say about Swinton - I feel like I should hand in my feminist and film geek badges for not knowing more about smaller female roles - but I don't.

Alba hosted the Scientific & Technical Awards. Didn't she host those last year too?

James McAvoy and James Brolin reciting some very lame catchphrases, but they make it work, I think. They're presenting Best Adapted Screenplay. They have obviously staged clips of each nominee typing, which is also rather lame. The Coens win! Apparently their other Oscar is also for writing (Fargo). And I can't not put in my aunt's boyfriend's line about the guy who adapted Diving Bell and the Butterfly: "He had an unfair advantage! He has fingers!"
The Coens are very obviously shy. What with them and Katherine Heigl just about fainting from nervousness earlier, this is adding up to a very shy, rather brief awards show so far.

The Academy's president is explaining how the voting works. This is nice, I was just explaining it to my cousin earlier.

I wonder why Kristin Chenoweth is singing Amy Adams' role in "That's How You Know." The obvious answer is that Adams doesn't sound that good in real life, but that's disappointing. Plus, she already sang. I don't mind Chenoweth, but why'd they dress her in a dress the exact same colour - beige, for cripe's sake! - as the background?

Stop-Loss with Ryan Phillippe may not be a great movie, but their ads - especially the theatrical trailer:

is amazing.

Actual Oscars part 2

God, that was great. It does suffer without the woodland creatures, but given the backstage look at the "That's How You Know" dancers, I guess they blew their budget on that one. Amy Adams is stylish as ever, in the sort of dress that shows off her curves without being obscene about it, you know? I'd never think that song could work with a calf-length '30s-ish dress, but I was wrong.

I like the flashbacks to previous winners. Say what you will, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are pretty cute together.

Jon says they make catty remarks about what we're wearing at home during the commercial breaks. This makes me feel a tiny bit less guilty about my previous remarks.

Achievement in Visual Effects. Golden Compass wins. I got nothing. I think I'm going get some ice cream and pause for a few minutes. Cookie dough ice cream > blogging, every time.

Cate Blanchett presents Art Direction. Sweeney Todd.

Supporting, presented by Jennifer Hudson. Javier Bardem wins. Knew it! 2/3. Awwww, he brought his mom and he spoke to her in Spanish. And the way he smiled when they said his name. Awwww.

"Oscar's Salute to Binoculars and Periscopes" may well be the funniest guldarn thing I've ever seen at the Oscars. It is easily as good as, if not better than, the Will Ferrell song. (I can't embed it.)

They're doing a song from August Rush. It seems like cheating to have Keri Russell introduce it. Gorgeous song and presentation, totally beating Amy Adams right now.

It still seems a little strange to hear the phrase "Academy Award nominee Owen Wilson." He's introducing short live-action. I worry about that boy. My cousin just asked what happened to his nose, so I'm checking Wikipedia. Wikipedia is mute. What do we keep it around for, anyway?

Short bit about bees in movies by Jerry Seinfeld, which would have been funnier if Bee Movie had been bigger. Or I'd seen it.

Okay, now I'm onto the real thing

It hasn't yet. I really hope Jon Stewart's good. The man's talented as all get-out but 1) he tends to mug and 2) he has to temper his comedy. Same with Chris Rock. You have to ask, if they're going to neuter them what's the point?

There was a neat opening montage with Ahnuld driving a truck through Hollywood, but it had a weird double-vision thing going on. Couldn't tell what the hell was going on.

Uh, why is Jon singling out specific performances? That's a really bad idea, y'all.

Wait, he just said that Norbit blew. "It's not often that the Academy notices films that are, you know, bad." OK, I kinda love him.

Aaaaaand he's back to singling out individuals. Dude, wtf? And he's resorting to the stripper name joke.

He's talking about politics and immediately he's stronger. Which is great. But why, why, why? It's the Oscars. When I want to watch The Daily Show, I watch The Daily Show.

\m/ Joke about black Presidents meaning an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty. \m/

Costume design is first. I've got to admit, I like it best when they have a Supporting Oscar first. Elizabeth: The Golden Age wins. I'm 0 for 1. The winner gives a very nice, very short speech. Very classy.

First commercial break of the night.

Ad for The Other Boleyn Girl. I thought they weren't allowed to show ads for movies. Maybe the rules are different b/c I'm in Canada.

George Clooney presenting. Rawr. He's presenting an sequence about the history of the show. George Clooney, films, history, excess . . . it's pretty safe to say I love it.

A new media joke, which might have been pertinent in 1999, but they combined it with a Lawrence of Arabia cinematography joke. So - okay. You get away with it. THIS TIME.

Steve Carell may have said "shoot", but it sounded a lot like "shit" coming out of my TV. They're presenting Best Animated Feature. Ratatouille wins! Yayyyyyy! Go Brad Bird, but also, I'm 1 for 2.

La Vie en Rose wins for best makeup. I'm just kinda disappointed that we can't refer to Academy-Award winner Norbit.

"Happy Working Song." I'm just going to watch it.

Oscar blogathon part what?

Philbin's hosting. Why? At least Seacrest can take the piss out of himself. He's just told Clooney that everyone used to want to be Cary Grant, and now everyone used to want to be Clooney. Clooney responds that that's because Cary Grant is dead. I don't have to mention that I totally would, right ladies?

I am simultaneously blogging, checking my email and chatting with my friend on MSN. And watching the show. I don't know how real bloggers do this - it's crazy trying to keep up.

Holy shiitake mushrooms, Mickey Rooney's still alive?

I don't want to slam Daniel Day-Lewis's wife's dress, because this isn't a part of her job or anything, but it's really pretty unfortunate. Brooches 8 inches across and that sort of thing.

Speaking to Amy Adams: the interviewer mentions that she's performing this year (three times, I'd assume). I wonder how they're going to do "That's How You Know," since it's such a big sweeping, hundreds of people sort of song in the movie.

Now Regis is talking to a lady who's been to every red carpet since 1986. Awwwww.

Now they're showing the inside of the theatre filling up with guests milling around. I love it when they show background stuff like thhis, stuff that you wouldn't normally get to see. There's a really great book I read about backstage at the Oscars: Big Show: High Times and Dirty Dealings Backstage at the Academy Awards by Steve Pond. I'd recommend it.

Hey, they showed the PriceWaterhouseCooper guys! I love it when they do that. They always have these great big goofy smiles on their faces.

Oooh, less than 3 minutes left. I've got butterflies. I complain, I whine, I bitch, but god, I love the Oscars. As Brenda put it, they're our Super Bowl.

Oscar blogathon, part 4

The skybox is going over clothing. They've called Miley's (who it turns out is only 15) dress age-appropriate. NO WAI.

And they like Marion Cotillard's dress. It's white and covered in a fish-scale detail, starting small at the top and getting larger at the bottom. It might grow on me, but right now it feels too novelty for me, like it should be made out of vinyl. Hey, I liked Bjork's swan dress, who am I to talk.

I don't know if I like Ellen Page's dress. It's very simple: long, black, slightly blousy and gathered at the waist, with spaghetti straps. It's the sort of thing that shows off her natural beauty, but at the same time, come on! She's young, she doesn't need to be in widow's weeds.

Katherine Heigl: omgwtf. She's wearing a one-strap dress, fitted at the waist, extremely long and flowy, cherry red, with her hair short and curly and kinda bobbed . . . There's no words. WOW. She's absolutely gorgeous. We called my aunt's boyfriend down, and he always cracks jokes, but even he thought she was stunning. Red, red lipstick.

Back over to BW. My cousin is hiding under the blanket so she won't have to see Harrison Ford in all his [checks wikipedia] holy crap, 66-year-old self. I kinda have to agree.

Seacrest just offered Heigl a plate with his own face on it. Honestly, I have nothing to add.

Oooh, they're about to - no, no they aren't. Seacrest's show ended, and the paper said the show would start at 8, but no it's just another half-hour of pre-show.

Oscar blogathon, part 3

Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen are like adorable curly bespectacled twins.

Keri Russell is scary skinny. She's making me worried. She's wearing this insane grey dress, with a long, full train and a fitted bodice and crazy diamonds around her neck that suit the dress, rather than just looking extraneous. Oh, and her hair - this updo that looks a bit stiff but nice and big. Gorgeous, but a little frightening. Nathan Fillion needs to feed that girl some pie, stat.

Gad, stop blathering up in the "skybox." Flipping over to E!Talk Canada.

Gah, they're on Miley Cyrus again.

I like to think I've been dulled by BBC to tolerate all sorts of production qualities, but flipping from E (screw it, I'm not punctuating that anymore) to E Canada really emphasizes how much less money E has to work with. Much less rich in colour, poorer sound.

And now it's on the Barbara Walters special, going over Ellen Page's filmography. I can handle it when Americans are ignorant of Canadian film. I can't when they're openly disgusted by the fact that Canadian film exists. SARAH SMASH.

I'm only 17 (16 in non-leap years) days younger than Ellen Page! I don't know whether this is awesome, or makes me depressed. Let's not mention that Seacrest said by the time Miley Cyrus is 18 she'll be a billionaire.

My aunt's boyfriend just said that Walters doesn't like Page because she's independent and not sucking up to her. He's telling me to put in his theory that Walters actually died 10 years ago, and that's Gary Busey in a wig. So, I did.

I just saw an ad for Leatherheads (which I'm rather excited for). The studios aren't allowed to advertise during the actual awards, so why don't more of them advertise movies during the pre-show? The most frequent ad I've seen is for Grey Goose, which admittedly makes it look absolutely delicious.

Apparently Saoirse or whatever is pronounced "Sersha."

Quarter to, time to post!

Oscar blogathon, post 2

Seacrest is talking about eavesdropping on Carell in the grocery store. He says how inappropriate it would have been for him to approach him at the time and say he was eavesdropping. He tells this story on international TV. I don't even have to try to make the jokes here.

Amy Adams' dress looks a lot like her dress at the end of Enchanted, except it's a sort of very dark green-black rather than purple, and it's a lot more swirly around the calves. I normally hate that kind of bodice, where there's a dip between the breasts, but it still looks great on her.

John Travolta's hair looks like he bought it off a 2 AM hair commercial and he sprayed it on. Ken dolls have more realistic hair.

I'm tempted to say that Miley Cyrus's dress's colour (cherry red) is too old for her. Yes, it sounds very Grandmere from The Princess Diaries, but it's kinda true. The cut is perfect -

James McAvoy and his lovely wife are on. Me can't brain now -

Okay, it's off him now. Gosh, he's pretty. Seacrest is talking to Amy Adams about her Enchanted doll, same as he did for Patrick Dempsey. What, were they short of "Boy, you were really good in your movie. Who are you wearing? You sure were good." And Seacrest's correspondent just said, "It's like the less you're prepared, the better." You can't make this shit up.

Jessica Alba always makes best-dressed lists. Last year they talked more about her than some of the actual winners, even though she hadn't actually been in anything for a while, nor did she have anything coming up soon. She was well-dressed:

But it made me wonder if 10 years from now they'll just have models walking the red carpet so they don't have to talk about the boring ole movies all the time. Anyway, despite having a lovely pregnancy glow, Alba's dress this year just looks marred. It's this deep copper/bronze strapless empire waist, but it's got this big feathery boa just glued onto the bust.

Someone please get Jennifer Garner a sandwich.

Oscar blogathon post, 1 of hopefully many

Thanks to Sarah for inspiring me to get back bloggin' again. Thus begins my Oscar liveblog.

Anne Hathaway on Steve Carell: "He's just a very shy, bitter man . . ." Have I mentioned how much I love her? Shame about her dress. She's absolutely gorgeous, and she's got a ponytail and a dress that's cutting her horizontally in exactly the wrong way.

Saoirse Ronan is just about the cutest the cutest thing ever. She's got this gorgeous green dress that would be too Irish-cliche if it weren't for her stunning eyes.

James McAvoy arrived. He is very, very pretty. That is all.

What's with Seacrest's jacket? It's got this paler bit around the neck that makes him look like he's wearing a priest's miter.

I'm going to try to post every quarter or half hour. Punching the button now . . .

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Been a long time

Yeah, yeah, I know. But I've been procrastinating, and I saw Penny Karma's Oscar challenge. I think I'm going to try to liveblog the Oscars as well. Here are my predictions for the majors, and my rationale:

Best Picture:
No Country for Old Men

Best Director: Joel Coen & Ethan Coen (No Country for Old Men)

The Coens have never won Best Director - no, not even for The Grand Lebowski! I know! I think this is their year. Michael Clayton was lucky to get nominated. Juno is a comedy. Not enough people saw Atonement. That leaves No Country and There Will Be Blood for Best Picture. There Will Be Blood is the perfect example of an auteurist flick; it never could have been what it is without Day-Lewis and Anderson working together. So I think if they don't give the Oscar to Anderson for directing, he won't get it for Best Picture.

Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis (There Will Be Blood)

This one's already engraved on the statuette. I saw this movie last night, and he's everything you've heard and more. He will, in fact, drink the other nominees' milkshakes.

Best Actress: Julie Christie (Away From Her)

Big ups for the Canadian film, woot woot! I would've said Page but I think she's too young to win.

Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men)

Haven't seen it, but this is another lock.

Best Supporting Actress: Saoirse Ronan (Atonement)

I predict this will be the "big upset" category. Ryan and Swinton are supposedly great, but I think more people saw Atonement. I'm thinking of when Anna Paquin won for The Piano here.

Costume Design: Atonement

That green dress is a character all by itself. I just hope they don't repeat the presentation of the costume nominees in the same way this year, with models in a tableau. It just looked awkward.

Original Song: "That’s How You Know" - Enchanted

I love this song. I love Amy Adams singing it. I love Patrick Dempsey's reaction. I love this movie. That is my only explanation.

Foreign Language Film: 12

Just guessing here. This is the first year in a while I haven't heard of any of these. I know: shaaaame, shaaaaame. I'm surprised Four Months, Three Weeks, 2 Days isn't here, unless it didn't actually get released in 2007.

Adapted Screenplay: No Country for Old Men

Apparently it's EXACTLY like the book, and the Academy's a sucker for that sort of thing. I love the book Atonement, but by its very nature they would have had to cut out about 75% of it.

Original Screenplay: Juno

There's no way Juno isn't going to win something. But both Page and Reitman are too young, and Diablo Cody's making a real name for herself. It's the first time I've seen so
much attention paid to a screenwriter.

Finally, Penny Karma's been having a bit of trouble getting people to respond because most people haven't seen many of the nominated films. I'm no better. So here's my completely subjective list of best of '07.

Best Picture: There Will Be Blood.

I didn't enjoy it, but I do like it a hell of a lot.

Best Director: Jason Reitman, Juno.

He took what could have been Napoleon Dynamite and turned it into a gem. The guy is obviously one of the most talented comedic director out there - Thank You For Smoking makes me laugh every time. If I had seen Away From Her - yes, shaaaaaaame, shaaaaaaame - I would have picked Sarah Polley. I've been a Sarah Polley fan since before I could read. That's fan cred, right there. And I have seen her direct before, so I know of what I speak.

Honourable mention to Adrienne Shelley for Waitress.

Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood

Duh. The only one who might have given him a run for his money is Cillian Murphy in Sunshine.

Best Actress: Keri Russell, Waitress.

I've already talked everyone's ear off about this movie. Basically, it's kinda perfect.

Honorable mention: Nikki Blonsky in Hairspray.

Best Supporting Actor: Paul Dano, There Will Be Blood.

How the hey-nonny-nonny did he not even get nominated? Folks, have you seen what Day-Lewis does to him during the movie? And he plays two parts, the larger of which he had to replace the original actor in after 2 weeks of shooting. It's Paul motherloving Dano!

Honorable mention: the kid who plays H.W., De Niro in Stardust.

Best Supporting Actress: Cripes, I'm having a hard time trying to think of one here. All my favourite supporting characters this year appear to be men. Hmmm; I'm going to have to go with Amanda Bynes in Hairspray. Not so much for the performance - she probably wouldn't make it onto a top 5 list of my favourite performances in that movie - but for proving that good roles for young female comedians/comic actresses do exist. I'm looking at you, Sarah Silverman.

Costume Design: I have no idea, but whoever dressed James McAvoy for Becoming Jane should get a negative Oscar. Ooooh, he's just a wee little leprechaun in a green velvet coat, thrashing aboot the forest looking for his luck charms!

Original Song: "That’s How You Know" - Enchanted

Yes, still the same. I think they should institute a category where films can be nominated for a non-original song. My example here is "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge! It was ineligible for the Oscar because it was originally written for Romeo + Juliet, even though it was never used. I mean, just because "Sea of Love" wasn't originally written for Juno, it should still be eligible for some award. You can't tell me there's no artistry involved there at all.

Foreign Language Film: No idea again.

Adapted Screenplay: I don't know - Hairspray? Sweeney Todd?

Original Screenplay: Hot Fuzz

This movie is a slice of fried gold, and I defy anyone to tell me otherwise. Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright, Nick Frost and Jessica Stevenson/Hynes could beat up a puppy in front of me and I would still think they were just about perfect. If Juno can be nominated, there's no reason Hot Fuzz can't be. Hell, The Full Monty was nominated for Best Picture!

Also, how did the hell did TWBB not get nominated for Best Score?

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

A quiz

I am tired. And upset. And angry. And I just found out Terry Pratchett has Alzheimer's.

I just . . .

It's not fair.

Something distracting: a meme from Behold My Brilliance.

Elaborate on your default icon:
It's one of the pictures from when I finished my Black Sea hat. I think they make me look kinda chipmunk-cute with my huge cheeks. Plus I love the hat.

What’s your current relationship status?
So, so lonely.

Ever have a near-death experience?
No. I hurt my back badly when I was in grade 9 or so, which was the closest thing to it. I banged my tailbone on the concrete ledge of a pool as I was swinging on a Tarzan rope, and it hurt so bad that I didn't move when I dropped into the water. I yelled when my back hit the edge, so people knew something had happened and a stranger came and scooped me up, thank goodness. The water was only about 5 or 6 feet deep but I was in shock, I think, and I wasn't moving at all.

Name an obvious quality you have:
It's very easy to make me laugh.

What’s the name of the song that’s stuck in your head right now?
S (s, s, s, s) A (a, a, a, a) F (f, f, f, f) E (e, e, e, e) T (t, t, t, t) Y (y, y, y, y). SAFETY. DANCE.

doo doo doo da doo doo da doo doo . . .

Any celeb you would marry?
Hugh Laurie because I think he's a genuinely fascinating, smart, funny, talented man. I'm certain the age difference thing would really bother me though. Perhaps Justin Trudeau.

Who will cut and paste this first?
Somebody who's bored.

Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
Yes. My mum used to insist on Nelly Furtado (pre-hoification). I had a friend in high school say Gillian Anderson once, which I don't really see but I will remember forever because who wants to turn that some of comparison down?

Do you wear a watch?
No, I've always got my iPod or phone.

Do you have anything pierced?
Ears. I used to have two holes in each but the second ones grew over.

Do you have any tattoos?
No, but I know what I want. A simple infinity symbol in either blue or black right on the inside of my left wrist. I'm waiting for the right time.

Do you like pain?
No. It is pain.

Do you like to shop?
Depends. My year of no yarn has changed the way I shop for yarn, and then gradually other things. Basically, if it's books or DVDs, I'm there forever. I love the possibility inherent. Anything else, even craft supplies, wears rather quickly.

What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
My disgusting lunch at the coffee shop in the school library. The coffee was fine but they must have dumped an entire can of olives into my wrap.

What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card?
No credit cards - I get into enough trouble with my debit card.

Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
My brother.

What is on your desktop background?
A picture of David Tennant holding a kitten, because I am predictable as fuck. (But it's so cute!!!)

What is the background on your cell phone?
A daisy picture that came with the phone. I don't really get into the whole photos and ringtones on your cell thing.

Do you like redheads?
I daily curse my chromosomes that I am brunette rather than redhead. I have every other aspect, especially complexion.

Do you know any twins?
Two of my best friends growing up. Another girl I knew growing up had a twin brother. Two of my cousins are twins.

Do you have any weird relatives?
Sometimes I think I'm the weird relative. Really, the baseline in my family for normalcy is set rather low. In my immediate family I may be it, which is truly frightening.

What is the last movie you saw?
James and the Giant Peach. I hadn't seen it in ages. It's wonderful!

What was the last book you read?

A trashy novel which I am too much of a snob to reveal.

Is there such a thing as love at first sight, or it is more likely to be lust at first sight?
Lust. The few people I truly love I've known for ages. The shortest relationship we're talking about here is about a year and a half.

What’s your favorite book?
It depends on how I feel at the moment.
Childlike: A Little Princess, by Frances Hodgson Burnett
Smart: House of Leaves, by Mark Z. Danielewski, or anything from Jasper Fforde's Thursday Next series
Pensive: Fall on Your Knees, by Ann-Marie Macdonald (Atonement by Ian McEwan is possibly tied)
Funny: anything by Pratchett, especially involving the Watch. Guards! Guards!, Men at Arms, The Fifth Elephant, Jingo, all greats.
Spiritual (this agnostic doesn't feel "religious"): Lamb by Christopher Moore and Small Gods by Pratchett.
Inspired: anything by Neil Gaiman, or Seventy-Nine Short Essays About Design by Michael Bierut.

I've left a ton out. Do Hamlet or Much Ado About Nothing count as books?

When was the last time you googled your own name?
At least six months. It's rather boring. I'm apparently a very good swimmer, and someone with a name very similar to mine was painted by Picasso.

What was / is your favorite subject at school?
All through school, history, because it was always just reading comprehension. Now it's film studies. I wish I'd put more work into my English classes though.

What was / is your least favorite subject at school?
Science. I stopped taking science as soon as humanly possible. I never had really good teachers and at least in gym class we'd get to do soccer every year.

Do you like having your photograph taken?
I used to. Not really any more, unless I'm in complete control.

What time were you born?
Too late, that's all I know.

Ever seriously questioned your sanity?
Maybe a little bit during first year of university. I just heard on RadioLab that being alone is just as likely to kill you as smoking. I really enjoy being solitary but I've learned since that talking to people is sometimes hard but occasionally worth it.

How many phone numbers do you have remembered and can say off the top of your head?
Perhaps 10-20, and I know at least 3 of those are old ones that are useless.

Can you Limbo?
Never really saw the need to try.

Have you ever killed your own dinner?
If you count unrooting carrots as killing them, then yes, yes I have.

How long have you been living at your current residence?
It depends on your definition of residence. Anywhere from 10 years to 2-1/2 years to 4 months.

What phobias do you have?
Rodents and vampires.

What’s your ideal breakfast?
Something homemade warm from the oven or pan.

Where are you right now?
At my desk.

Why do you blog?
If you look at my blog, it's pretty clear that I don't.

What would you call your autobiography?
I'd take the easy way out and just make it self-titled. Easy to find no matter how it's filed.

What’s the longest time you’ve stayed out of the country / where?
10 days in China. Probably still the best vacation ever.

Do you use ICQ, AIM, etc..?

Do you have nightmares frequently?
I had a dream last night that was a nightmare in retrospect. Let's just say I don't like confrontation, and when you wake up thinking it's over, and then realize it has yet to be resolved: nightmare. I don't remember my dreams enough to really know whether I have nightmares often.

If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Probably not. I found my doppelganger once and I haven't spoken to her since.

Which TV character could you be friends with?
Willow and Xander from Buffy, the Doctor from Doctor Who, Rory and Lorelai (and hopefully Kirk) from Gilmore Girls, Claire from Coronation Street, Wilson from House. I could think of more but clearly I watch too much TV.

What’s on your mouse pad?
I don't have one. I so have an increasingly shiny smooth patch of desk.

What is your ring tone?
Peer Gynt. Again, one of those default ring tones. If you don't know what it is, picture an ad for Ricola or St. Ives or anything else that uses more footage of the Alps than The Sound of Music. That's the tune.

What did you watch on TV last night?
Gilmore Girls on DVD. Only one episode left in the entire series!

Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings, because I am turning into a softie.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Mostly dead, not all dead

Just a quick note to say hi to anyone who might be stopping by from Yarnival. Hi! I haven't updated this site recently - I can't believe how it's been over a month - but I plan to get right back in the saddle as soon as I find my knitting mojo. I've been missing writing Weekly Movies too. Just so you know I'm not dead. Ta!

PS. Go see Stardust. Do it!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Like I didn't know this already


Mingle2 - Free Online Dating

Saturday, June 30, 2007

The things I do for you people

The funniest five seconds on the internet:


Weekly Movies, June 10-16

Yeah, this is late. I saved this as a draft, then left on vacation the next day. So here for your enjoyment, and also for your lols, Weekly Movies June 10-16. I'm playing catch-up right now, but you try working in a liquor store come Canada Day.

Last Night: OMGWTFBBQ. This movie landed like a pop bottle full of marbles into my brain and refuses to leave.

Listen, I knew this was going to be a good movie. It's written, directed and starring Don McKellar, who to be fair I've seen very little of, but like what I've seen. Moreover, one of my closest friends in Ottawa (hi, Becky!) adores Don McKellar, and I trust her opinion. Furthermore, my friend Sam considers this movie his favourite Canadian movie of all time, and since my favourite Canadian movie is New Waterford Girl, possibly a perfect movie, I have to consider this as high praise indeed.

And I was still blown away.

Briefly, Last Night concerns the lives of a few different people living in Toronto, starting at 6:00 PM the day the world is going to end. (They never say why, but I think it's made pretty clear that the sun's going supernova.) The people have all chosen to spend their last precious hours in different ways. Craig (Callum Keith Rennie, oh that only sweetens the deal) is having sex in as many different ways with as many different people as possible. Patrick (McKellar) is spending a fake Christmas dinner with his family, then going to watch it all end by himself. Jenny (Sarah Polley, one of my heroes) is going to end it at a giant party with her boyfriend. Duncan (David effin' Cronenberg) is a workaholic. And Sandra (the perfect Sandra Oh) just wants to get home to her husband so they can kill each other before the world kills them.

All of these people are connected, but to relate how they are connected reduces them to a blank sheet of facts. The movie is honest, heart-breaking, really funny (listen to the newscast in the background in Duncan's house) and refreshing. I've just finished reading Katherine's Monk's astonishingly good book Weird Sex and Snowshoes, about Canadian film. I don't want to rehash what she's written about McKellar and Last Night, but I think having the background on why he made this film, in a time when movies like Armageddon and Deep Impact were being made across the border is interesting. It feels like more than anything what the end of the world would really be like. Once again, I don't want to reveal too many details of the plot, because I always find I enjoy films most the less I know of their stories. Just, see this movie.

Shadow of the Vampire: One of the reasons I appreciated Dead Again so much was that it took an interesting premise (discovery of past lives through the use of hypnosis) and made a good movie out of it. It only makes me more frustrated when movies like Shadow of the Vampire are made. After all, this movie had an amazing premise: what if the actor who played Nosferatu wasn't really acting? What if he really was a vampire?

And the reason I appreciate movies like Dead Again is because so few movies manage to live up to their premise. Shadow had good actors (Willem Dafoe, John Malkovich, Cary Elwes who will always be given slack no matter how much crap he does because of Westley, Eddie Izzard), a delightful design and some really goddamn scary scenes. But the story just meanders and wanders. I think it would have been nice to acknowledge that not many people know the map of Eastern Europe in the '20s by heart - would it have killed them to show us where everything was? And for heaven's sake, if you're making a movie about one of the most iconic movies in history, learn from it! One of the best scenes in Shadow is the first time we meet Max Schreck (Willem Dafoe), at night on a secluded lot, and he starts "acting" instantly. Everyone on the lot is captured by the feeling of fear as he lures the young man into his abode, and it's easily the scariest scene in the movie. That's because it was taken directly from Nosferatu, duh. Yet when Max starts to go wild and feed on people, he just jumps right on them and ties on the saddlebag. What's so scary about that, huh? And what happens to the first camera operator he nearly kills, the one who gets shipped back to Berlin? Why aren't there any consequences of that?

More than anything, Shadow of the Vampire frustrated me. Partly, it's doomed to failure because it can never be as scary as Nosferatu, and partly it just failed to live up to its possibilities.

[Afterthought: 99.99% of the people who see a picture of the real Max Schreck done up as Nosferatu have no idea what Max Schreck really looked like. I don't. When I looked at Max Schreck in this movie, I could clearly see Willem Dafoe, despite the good makeup job. Perhaps part of the success of the image of Nosferatu is the fact that we can't see anything else in him - certainly not the Green Goblin or a member of Steve Zissou's crew.]

Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer: I'm going to largely repeat what I said over in the MRFH forum, so feel free to skip this if you're from there. But first, I have to say this: I liked the first Fantastic 4 movie, OK? I did. I was excited to see it because it had Ioan Gruffudd hitting it big and he's pretty and stuff. (I have a crush on Ioan Gruffudd that, while I am nearly over, was so strong before that I feel I may never escape.)

So, I saw the first movie just because it was Ioan, and was pleasantly surprised. It's kinda funny at times, it's not too unbelievable, and the locations are beautiful (BC, baby!). I know this sounds ike faint praise but trust me, I like it.
Now, a few random thoughts:

Is Marvel seriously making so many movies right now that they've run out of token bit parts for Stan Lee to play? Talk about breaking the fourth wall.

Hey, it's that guy from the 11:00 news! I get really, really excited when I recognize stuff from where I live in movies. Don't watch the original Fantastic 4 movie with me, because I point this stuff out all the time, much to the annoyance of my brother who was sitting next to me watching the movie. Also on the list: Final Destination 1, Sandlot 2, Muppet Wizard of Oz, Antitrust, Josie and the Pussycats, any episode of Battlestar Galactica . . . I just get distracted and start yelling stuff like "Hey, that's the main library building!" It's like you've waved something shiny in front of my face. I don't know how I would cope if I lived in California. (But it really is exciting, because I've been to the bar where Ben and Johnny play darts!)

I don't know what they did different with Jessica Alba's hair for this movie, but she looks really weird. I say this not in that petty girlfight way, but she quite truly looks odd. Phillip Stevens at Pajiba called it "irradiated mannequin," which only makes me wish I'd come up with it.

I can understand some leaps of logic - like, if the Silver Surfer's initial sweep knocked out the FAA's computers, why is there no repetition of that throughout the rest of the movie? Why do the Fantastic 4 travel the globe, yet we never see them traveling? But there's one thing I couldn't stand, and that was this: there is no Great Wall in south-east China. That's sort of the POINT of the Great Wall. Unless the Huns started attacking from the sea, south-east China was A-OK safe! Also, I know this gets into pedant territory, but those pictures of the Great Wall everyone sees? That's not what the majority of it looks like. The bits that tourists walk on, yes, does look like that, because the government restored them. But the rest? Imagine Roman ruins in Britain. It's about as useful as those.

Also, I realize this is an alternate universe and the world is about to end and people probably bond together in times like this, but I don't think China is exactly keen on Americans dropping into their country uninvited. They certainly wouldn't be cool for them to hang around and plan a wedding.

And oy, with the wedding! I think I missed the part of the second X chromosome where you enjoy weddings, because I wanted to SCREAM. I have been to 2 weddings - both my siblings' - and while I was happy for them and all, weddings are kinda boring. Ditto for Reed Richards and Sue Storm's. Get on with the clobberin'.

I won't even mention the Dodge. I won't I won't I won't OH GOD WHY!?!?!

The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain: Wow! There's actually some sort of narrative thread to this particular issue of Weekly Movies!

See, back when I was really interested in Ioan Gruffudd (I ask that you not use the term "obsessed," plzkthnx) I began to be interested in Wales, because that's where he's from. Wales is really a very interesting place. Its people are fiercely independent, and they actually speak Welsh day-to-day. How neat is that?!?! It's a very beautiful landscape, and no shortage of interesting people came from there. Plus, if you listen to Cast-On, you can't help but be interested in Wales. Brenda describes it with a convert's passion.

I would love to go to Wales someday. Trust me, it's high on The List. And that's part of why I was drawn to The Movie With the Stupidly Long Title That Condemns it to Sound Twee. Also, because my dad said he really liked it, and he has thus far shown excellent taste in his choice of British movies featuring adorable little villages (though I doubt I'll ever convince him to see Hot Fuzz, more's the pity). And, true to form, it is a well-done movie featuring an adorable little village all pulling together with the help of a scoundrel. More than anything, it reminded me of The Commitments, even though the two films have almost nothing in common on the surface except for the casting of Colm Meaney.

Another reason some might turn up their noses at this movies is Hugh Grant as lead, in all his stammering, shy glory. Well, I'm firmly of the belief that Hugh Grant does far better work than he ever gets credit for, so there. And I don't have a crush on him either; I simply think he got typecast more than a decade ago and he has far wider range than that (Exhibit no. 1: About a Boy).

Sunday, June 17, 2007

FO: Monkey Socks

Oy. I've got a monkey on my back.

But thankfully not anymore!*

Details, yes?

Pattern: Monkey by Cookie A., free at
Yarn: self-dyed KnitPicks Bare fingering weight. Colourway intended: Kaylee. Colourway achieved: Drunken Neon Ibis.
Needles: 2.5 mm . . . circular?!?!

This pattern really truly is as addicting as they say. It's a simple 11-row repeat which I had memorized by the second repeat, and it takes me forever to memorize these things. It's great for variegated yarn. I've never actually finished a pair of Jaywalkers (I find the fitting difficult), but I have no problem seeing these become the next Jaywalkers.

I doubt I'll order the yarn again. Although it has nylon already, I reinforced the heels and toes with sewing thread because I didn't feel confident this yarn would last. It's very soft and tends to split. It also doesn't feel like it has much of the natural elastic bounce inherent in wool, which would make me nervous about frogging.

I knit the socks on Magic Loop almost by accident, really. Near the top of the first sock, you can see where the yarn has begun to flash, where I was working with 2.25 mm dpns. I was also worried that the lack of bounce I was feeling was due to the needle size, and I couldn't find a set of 2.5 mm dpns. I knew roughly how to use Magic Loop because I'd reverted to it before on short pieces of work like the sleeves of my Glampyre boobholder, where I didn't have the right size dpns but was able to add cords to my Denise needles to make them long enough for Magic Loop. I'd never used it for a longer period, and I found I like the technique. It makes it feel like it's going faster, because naturally you work faster with less stopping at joints between needles. I'll never abandon dpns, but I like Magic Loop more than I expected.

It's already been established that Cookie A. is just a straight-out genius. The day I finished these socks, I started straight away on a new pair:

Yup, it's going to be Hedera! I've always thought these socks were a bit overlooked - unjustly since they're just plain gorgeous, and even easier than Monkeys! Plus, I'd imagine that these babies would fit more people than the Monkey pattern, since it's offered in two separate sizes and is super stretchy. I don't have any good pictures of the lace stretched out, so let's just pretend I'm drawing out the suspense until they're done.

Speaking of which, I'm leaving on vacation tomorrow (which is actually today, so I have to finish this up soon). I'll be gone on an Alaskan cruise until the 24th, and will be bringing my laptop but can't guarantee I'll have internet access. If I maintain radio silence for a while, you'll know that's why. I hope to finish off my Hederas, as well as an Unjustly Overdue Super Secret Project.

*Listen, I know you guys are quite possibly getting sick of all these photos I take in this lavender bush. But I'm just now trying to take photos according to the colour spectrum, and green and purple look good against a lot of stuff, like ^red and orange^. If you are getting sick of them, just bear in mind I'm trying to improve, and it could always be worse.